Damage Control

66
rate or flag this page
Facebook

By damagecontrol

Control my damage.

No one can control ninja damage.

What is Damage Control?

What is damage control? It is two very simple things:

1) Damage: sustained harm or injury, specifically to the body

2) Control: Power over said harm.

Damage can come at you from anywhere.

From a ninja on the sidewalk.

From a horde of biological seed demons festering in a day old burger.

From an old lady who gives you the wicked eye for beating her to the elevator and letting the door shut before she could get on.

Damage can be mental and physical. It can be subtle and sharp. It will come at you all the time from everywhere all at once.

But you can TAKE CONTROL. How? First, learn weapons. Swords, knives, police batons, and bazookas. This will protect you from physical attack damage by street thugs and feral cats.

Then learn how to eat right. Ice cream, pudding cups, coco puffs, and hot pockets can cause even more damage than an orangutan with a razor blade if taken in excess. It's not Halloween, so stop eating like it is, fatty.

Finally, the ultimate damage control master will take a vigorous regiment of potent multivitamins to strengthen his inner body. It's not just your wicked arms that fend off damage, it's every cell in your body, so keep those cells supplied with the ass kicking fuel they need to beat the shit out of invasive procaryotes.

To maximize my own control, I take the master formula and drink plenty of weight loss shake, and you should to, unless you want to be eaten by the enemy.

Not enough damage control.

Can't get enough

Can't get enough capsules in this awesome hubpage. Check this capsule out! It's nothing but two random links, and they're coming at you hardcore!!!!!!

Do you want to learn how to deal with stress?!?!!?!!!1! So do I! Blam!

Maybe if you're not stressed out, you'd like some omega 3 supplements. I don't know anything about that link, but it's there, so click on it now!!!!!1!

Any News on the Damage Control Front

  • Obama Reverses Birth Control Mandate - NewsMax.com

    CBC.ca Obama Reverses Birth Control Mandate NewsMax.com By Newsmax Wires In a belated attempt at damage control, President Barack Obama reversed course on the controversial HHS mandate requiring faith-based institutions to provide their employees with health policies covering birth control, ... Obama's Radical Birth-Control AgendaNational Review Online (blog) Contraception rules must respect religion, healthSan Francisco Chronicle Religion And Birth Control: Not Just A GOP FightWBUR Wall Street Journal all 7,712 news articles » - 19 hours ago

  • Nuclear Damage Control - Business Insider

    Nuclear Damage Control Business Insider What if you were promoting an industry that had the potential to kill and injure enormous numbers of people as well as contaminate large areas of land for tens of thousands of years? What if this industry created vast stockpiles of deadly waste but ... and more » - 26 hours ago

  • ANZ move is damage control - Sydney Morning Herald

    Bloomberg ANZ move is damage control Sydney Morning Herald ANZ has been true to its word and lifted its mortgage rates, after months of banks complaining about higher funding costs. Plans by the major banks to claw some profit margin back were blown out of the water this week when the Reserve Bank elected to ... Backlash against big fourThe Age all 595 news articles » - 35 hours ago

  • Damage control: Montana's Komen for the Cure responds - Missoula Independent (blog)

    The Inquisitr Damage control: Montana's Komen for the Cure responds Missoula Independent (blog) The Susan G. Komen for the Cure is desperately seeking a remedy to a week's worth of horrendous publicity. The nation's leading breast cancer charity received fierce backlash after deciding to cut ties with Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood Gets $3M in Donations, Komen Does Damage Control After FlapThe Inquisitr SW Michigan Komen Says Planned Parenthood Not Funded LocallyWSJM Komen denies cut in Planned Parenthood funding was politicalNews-Medical.net Tucson Citizen all 2,899 news articles » - 3 days ago

  • Homeless Youth Agency Struggles with Damage Control - KLAS-TV

    Homeless Youth Agency Struggles with Damage Control KLAS-TV By Chris Saldana, Reporter - bio | email By Tim Zietlow, Photojournalist - email LAS VEGAS -- The agency Kathleen Vermillion founded, Nevada Partnership for Homeless Youth, is in damage control mode after a series of recent newsmaking events. and more » - 2 days ago

Comments

No comments yet.

Submit a Comment
Members and Guests

Sign in or sign up and post using a hubpages account.



    • No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked
    • Comments are not for promoting your Hubs or other sites

    Did you like my Awesome Page?

    Did you like my awesome page fully explaining the awesomeness of Damage Control and the even more awesome power of the Master Formula? I hope you did, because that would mean that you kick ass!

    working